Personal Trainer NYC - ClientB

Friday, June 23, 2006

Fat Esme and The Muscle Men

Right outside my office window, right across the street, there are men building a building and they are up to working on the floor parallell to mine (the 10th floor). So, I'm watching them actually BUILD a building and it's a big deal.

It doesn't seem like a big deal since everything is in buildings. But someone built them and these men are doing it right now. And I'm watching.

And I realized that things can't get done without some muscle. I do my push-ups every day, but carrying bags filled with cat food and litter upstairs to my apartment is where the muscle is important. I just don't want everything to be futile.

Terri is really smart. She has ways of accepting and not accepting things that is really admirable. I want muscle so I can function, but I want to be thin so I can function with self-esteem. I want to do good things and I don't want to always feel crappy about myself because my body is gross. I wonder if these men are thinking about their bodies or if they're just hauling it all up and together so people can rent a space and everyone can get paid.

love, esme

Monday, June 05, 2006

fat esme in an attempt to halt return...

Does writing twice in a row count for twice in a week? It's just so damn hard to sign onto this thing. It always freezes my computer and shuts it down. My computer is shocked at the blog log-in. It knows me all too well.

I'm not trying to cheat. I'm just being honest.

love, esme

Fat Esme. When things shouldn't.

The wrappers on Trident gum say "Good For Your Teeth."

Chocolate and vanilla are beans. Jamba juice is made with fruit. Milk has calicum.
Anything can be true if it's trademarked.

I've been sick for about 3 days and it's the first time I haven't exercized in a while. I'm not really eating much but I'm feeling fatter and fatter. I think I have a swelling disorder. I just feel enormous. I just want to get healthy and go exercise. Even when I get sick I try and do some exercising. My girlfriend laughs at me when she walks in the room and I'm doing crunches off the edge of the bed. She thinks I get obsessive about it, but really the difference is that she has an amazing metabolism. She can eat anything and she looks like a waifish model. I can smell food and instantly my fat cells mulitply, divide and conquer.

Who reads this blog? I've never read another person's blog. Some of my friends have said "Ohmygod, I had such a totallyinsane weekend. You have to go read my blog." I never have. I've never sat and read someone's blog. Why would anyone want to read this blog? It began as an advertisement and diarreahl testimonial to Terri's incredible work as NYC's finest personal trainer. And I guess it still is, but really, beyond purging her wonderfullness, I have to find some other things to fill the space. And who would read this?

I have to go back to sleep.

love, esme